Having expectations can be one of most detrimental yet most human of experiences. We have all had expectations of ourselves, other people, situations and even items. We set low expectations to save ourselves from disappointment, or we set lofty expectations with the hope of success and pride. We also set unrealistic expectations with the intent of sabotage, whether its self-sabotage or sabotage of others; ugly yes, but it is something most people have done whether they know it or not. Learning to live without expectations is one thing my current path has me working out. I am quite sure it will be a lifelong endeavor.
My guide, “Cowboy,” brought to me the realization that I take expectations to a different level all together. I “think” I know what other people expect of me. How is it that I could know what others expect if they have not told me? The simple answer is ego, the expanded answer is ego. I began to believe that everyone thought the same way I, including but not inclusively expectations. If I had an expectation of myself, everyone must have that same expectation. If I had an expectation of another person, then they had to have an expectation of me that would warrant my expectation of them. It is understandable if you need to read that again, it is twisted thinking at its finest, LOL, convoluted even, ego hard at work. Letting go of the belief that I know what anyone’s expectation of me, of my behavior, or anything about me is necessary to change my thought process. Cowboy tells me, that changing the way we think is pivotal in realizing freedom from the chains created by carrying expectations in the first place. Finding peace in neutral; a place of no expectations, is a process of progress not perfection.
When expectations are held, a barrier from the truth and reality is created. No one wins when expectations are put on us; if the expectation is low, we can begin to think that the expectation is the goal, and if the expectation is high and not met, self-doubt and judgment can eventually take over creating a new dynamic in wounding. Whether we are the ones with the expectations or the ones the expectations are set for no one is working for their highest good making the truth impossible.