It was the late 1970’s and I was on vacation with my parents on the Hawaiian Island of Kauai. It was a beautiful trip, full of great memories and one decision that affected the next 40 plus years of my life. There we were, golfing in beautiful Kauai and all I can do is be frustrated and irritated with my putting, yes, I was a teenager.

I must be honest; the details are foggy at best, and I can’t even say that what I remember is what happened, but regardless, I remember having a horrible time putting and hearing my father say, you haven’t practiced enough”. What my heart heard: you are no good at golf and you should just stop trying. you are no good. Amid the shame I was feeling, I made the declaration that I will never golf again.

Now you might be thinking yeah so what’s the big deal? The big deal is this, in what seems to be a bad day of golf and an attitude from a stubborn teenager, what I heard and felt was very wounding for me and resulted in leaving a piece of my soul in that low vibration of frustration and shame on an island in the Pacific. The wounding that I held onto from that day was not really about golf; it was around practicing and my self-worth. This story isn’t very captivating I know and that’s exactly why I’ve written about it. Losing a soul piece can happen at any time and anywhere, there is no exact recipe for it. For me, this episode, as insignificant as it seems, triggered enough shame and lack of self-worth in me for the loss to happen.

The soul is the epitome of duality. It is capable of withstanding anything and everything, and yet it is fragile enough to leave parts of itself behind at a time of upset, trauma, or drama, causing that piece of the soul to stay in the energy of the event with a wound left in its place. We each have our own contracts to fulfill and lessons to learn, even to master, so there is no way of knowing what events cause only wounding or wounding with the loss of a soul piece. Most people don’t realize they’ve lost a soul piece until they reach a point in life where their focus turns inward to healing and spiritual growth; when they’re reading for healing, that’s when soul retrieval can begin. Retrieval is a crucial part of healing, and it can be the first or the final step. (More duality?) What’s important to know is that losing and retrieving soul pieces are part of the spiritual journey and we all experience it, well at least we all experience the losing part, many miss out on the retrieval part. The experience is an indicator of not only the lessons that are being learned and mastered, but it’s also an indicator of the evolution of the person and their soul.

I have recently healed the wounding and retrieved the piece of my soul that I left on Kauai. I learned many lessons throughout my life because of that incident. What's coming in from "Cowboy": we are meant to fail, hurt, be wounded, and yes even lose soul pieces. We are also meant to learn, grow, evolve and heal. When the healing begins, clarity happens and all of our pieces and parts can come together in our heart space to experience joy.

This morning I was asked by “Cowboy” to begin the process of finding peace in being in neutral. It took a minute to understand what was being asked of me. At first, I thought this was about emotional neutrality. Staying in balance emotionally, not getting too down or becoming exuberant but trying to stay in balance, in the middle. Then it hit me, neutral: a place of no expectation! What? Does He understand what that means? Clearly not!!! Having expectations is my middle name, well I do not have a middle name but still. I have let go of many expectations through my journey, some of myself but mostly around other people. As this request tumbles around in my brain, it seems that I am being asked to completely let go of expectations of myself and of my future. I want to argue that if I let go of those expectations, aren’t I setting myself up for failure? If there are no expectations how can I make progress, how will I be motivated, or succeed?

What comes to me from “Cowboy” is this: Expectations are not the catalyst for growth, progress, or success. They can be a deterrent and even a cause for self-sabotage, procrastination, or stagnation. Expectations can lead to perfectionism and the term perfection has been misconstrued in translation from a feeling to an item, something that is attainable. Perfection is an awareness that comes from the soul like love, compassion, or joy. Expectations put limits on our efforts; when we have an expectation of what something is supposed to look like we get into EGO to try and force things into what we think it should be and we stop listening to our intuition, to our personal guidance.

This message brings me an odd sense of calm and I believe that letting go of expectations will be a huge catalyst in moving me forward in my personal and professional journey of change.

Updated: Oct 14, 2021

WAIT, DON'T GO QUITE YET!! Yes, I am a psychic, clairvoyant, clairsentient and most other clair’s at one time or another. I am a channel, a medium and a healer too. What does that all really mean?


I will answer that question and more; for now, when I am grounded, connected, and allow

the wisdom from Spirit to guide my words, that is channeling. I will channel throughout my blogs and that channeling will be from my main guide "Cowboy" most of the time. I can say that finding my way back to a spiritual experience alongside my human experience has been more than a blessing and having a relationship with Spirit, with Spirit Guides, and with all my own guidance and intuition, is something I aspire to help others realize.


We are spiritual beings living a human existence, it is not an easy feat. We come into this life being everything spiritual and through an arduous journey we enter the world where our lungs, for the first time, are asked to breathe in oxygen. The shock of it all is overwhelming. As we grow, we lose our extra senses, and our spirit self begins to be overtaken by the human self and ego. We go through the years learning how to be and how not to be, where we fit in and where we don’t. So many rules and expectations we humans have; by the time we reach adulthood we are lucky to even be aware of spirituality. When we begin the journey of healing and connecting to our soul, we begin the process of re-spiritualizing ourselves and bringing our humanness in alignment with our soul. There will be a time during your journey that your soul will sneak up on you and begin tapping on your shoulder. Acknowledge that tap, turn your attention inward and begin a dialog with yourself.